Jiselle

Moving

2010-03-16T18:37:00.002+08:00

I am moving to my blog.

please email me if you wan to follow me to my new blog.

email address is pohshiping@gmail.com

thanks.

Monday, yea, it's blue.

2010-03-15T14:13:00.002+08:00

But i have my classmate with me now and they are just so funny. being so hyper active and I enjoyed watching them being so crappy.

I enjoy spending time with them, like in school.

they always lift up my mood.

Yea, i'm in school now, and everyone 3 of my classmates are with me.

when i am alone, i emo.

But when i am in school, I have them to lift my mood.

Here's my classmate that always cheer me up in school or whenever i am with them. =]

Moody yet again

2010-03-14T22:00:00.002+08:00

Work for 2 days morning shift.

tired and back aching.
the lucky thing is that it's not like super busy.

Heard alot of news from the staffs.
some personal issues.
makes me realise that sometime, not just looks can be deceiving, some character can be deceiving as well.

I am smart enough to see how the person is like by looking at him or her, and observing him or her will make me realise more about them. I can see and feel how the person is, but i nv judge. I don't know whether you believe it or not, but my sixth sense is so strong till, i can sense stuff happening sometime. Maybe you think i am jus bullshitting or sth. But it's your choice whether to believe it or not. I didn't say like it's 100% always right. I am jus human, i make mistakes sometimes as well.
I am not saying i'm a psychic or sth ok?

anyway,
I am so sick of how ugly the world is now.
Maybe that is y i like design.
So that i can design my beautiful world, though it's not like reality or sth,
but it's still beautiful.

I am not perfect.
I do not speak perfect english.
I do not like myself sometime as well.

Judge the world you may,
But to judge people personally,
I think you are just so pathetic.

I am not bimbotic,
because i personally hates bimbos.
Define bimbo?
My defination of bimbos are girls, whether pretty or not, put tons of make-ups, put on expensive clothes and carry branded bags, but they are jus so pathetic.They judged other girls, saying they are fat and etc, their poor eng, they are not as pretty as the bimbos. blah blah blah.
And oh ya,
most importantly, They are totally dumb.

alright now.
i am jus pissed off now and really hungry.
so many things happened and i dunno where I went do.
I mean the original me!
I am not myself anymore.

I need to get myself back.

Modelling

2010-03-13T00:42:00.003+08:00

I had kinda retired from modelling.

I am taking lesser and lesser modelling jobs, almost none.

i enjoyed my freelance modelling career.
I met new people,
I met different types of people,
I had learn a lot of stuffs.

I've been in modelling for a few years now.
and now i am turning 23 this year, I decided to stop.
I can't see a future in it in making modelling into my permanent career.

I have been rejecting jobs, castings due to clashing timing with my school and work.

people always say models always rich and easy life.
WRONG.
modelling is not an easy job.

what i see myself in the future is to be sitting on a designer chair. and slowly get promoted after working hard.

that is what i see.

being a designer is my life.
not modelling.

Modelling is fun, but not permanent.

tata~

Design

2010-03-09T23:31:00.002+08:00

Recently i was doing my school work and i went into this website.
there's a video on a speaker, saying:

"Writing is designing with words."

My life as an artist started off when i was a kid.
I love to draw, and draw and draw.

Then, my life as a designer started when i as 17.
My 1st course of design is "Product Industrial Design"
Which i find, don't really suit me.

so after 2 years, i quit.

I went to work in a small company as an concept artist aka graphic designer, for 1 year plus.

Then i registered and went for the entrance text for NAFA.
And i got in.

I have been here for 2 years already, and i am still loving designing.
When i was in TP, my course made me hate design.
Nafa makes me love design, or maybe is the course that i am doing.
Graphic design is jus my cup of tea.

Designing plays such a big part of my life.
I doubt i can be happy if i cant design anymore.

Though it's like really stressful, and alot of things to think about,
but i am enjoying it.

I love Design.

Same old day.

2010-03-06T04:10:00.003+08:00

Went to watch this is 3D.
The story was a bit confusing. But i like to observe the colour being used, the effects and so on.
it's really interesting.

My fav character in this movie is this fellow over here.

The dance moves that he has, the way he talks and also the way he act out his character.
i don't know.
Just find him really nice and very interesting.

I got this from my gf.
yes, it's a monthsary present. but was quite pissed with her because she anyhow spend money.

But still.
thank you.

I think i wanna get a license soon. Bike 1st i guess.
I am jus so sick of taking night rider home because the journey always take very long and my butt hurts from all the sitting.
and also,
I jus suddenly fall in love with bikes.

So, when i save enough money,
i'll go take up the license.

shall go and surf the net.
Cya around.

What else?

2010-03-03T01:23:00.001+08:00

Actually, i do not know what to blog anymore.

my mind is blank.

till when i know what to blog.
good night.

Being judged.

2010-02-26T11:45:00.002+08:00

Shit people who dunno me well and judged me.

To being with, one should not judge anyone.

So, fuck to people that judged other people.

Human who judged, make them become the low-class level of human side.

They make people realise how pathetic they are, how ugly they are.

Seriously,

U make my relationship sucks now.

u make it so unstable.

and now, u made me so tired of giving in anymore.

I am no longer going to change.

I am no longer to try.

I do not give a shit anymore.

I do not care whether who is getting the blames in the end,

because, i realised that u are just nothing to me. not even a speck of dust.

so FUCK OFF.

Because of what is happening,

I went to poison myself with more cig, more alcohol.

But apparently, set aside the poisoning, I am glad that, i finally realised who is wearing the mask and who is not.

bye now.

7th week

2010-02-22T21:50:00.003+08:00

It has been 7 weeks since school start. and last 3 weeks are like shit.
Submissions, consultation, and wasting tons of money on the printing and reprinting.

I used all my angbaos money on the printing and buying those material.

At first i thought i could have some spare cash to do some shopping for myself.
now i seriously doubt so.

Pimples keep popping out.
due to monthly "aunt's visit", tons of stress, and late night sleeps which happens every single night. damn.
my back is aching due to the stupid chair that is in one of my fav colour, but the design really sucks. it's like those kopitiam chair.
Guess i need to go IKEA for study chair soon. If not, i think my back wont take it anymore.
*provided i have the time to.

Work, study, work, study, work, study
That's my life.
boohoo.

Need to go back to do my packaging design soon.
which is due on wednesday.
And need to do a illustration for wednesday class as well.

alright.
will blog soon.

Tears

2010-02-21T02:13:00.003+08:00

The picture is being photoshop-ed for the tears part.

but now, deep down my heart, and since yesterday. i have been crying.
jus keep on crying.

cry till i cant think anymore.

Sins

2010-02-20T02:25:00.002+08:00

Everyone have their sins.
They need to pay back their sins.

What's my sins?
Living throughout my life, i did bad stuffs. i did good stuffs.
That's life, isn't it?

What goes around comes around.
Karma.

I have been doing some reading.
and I just keep thinking my my head about sins, karmas, and paying back kinda stuff.
after reading just make me keep thinking about my 23 years of life.

time to slp.
good night.

Back memories

2010-02-18T18:56:00.002+08:00

MSW FINAL Gown

1st time ever wear such a stunning gown.

Time of the month

2010-02-18T02:26:00.001+08:00

LA time.

feel like shit now.

gf went supperclub.
i'm at home chionging homework.

just finish not long ago.

heading to bed soon. need to be up at 7.

damn all the stupid assignments.

i am so in a fucked up mood now.

and i can feel that my cramp is coming.

Now i know

2010-02-16T04:14:00.002+08:00

Now i know,
how much do i love u.

Without you with me for like gg to 5 days, i miss u like crazy.
how i miss u mean how i love u also.
so if i miss u like crazy, that also means i love u like crazy.

Less than 24 hour u will be back in sg. but i will only be able to see u on wed. =[

In love like crazy.

='[

2010-02-15T03:40:00.001+08:00

I miss u like crazy.

sry peeps, i am emo-ing.

Boohoo hoo~

2010-02-14T04:34:00.001+08:00

I miss you like crazy.

I still got 4 more days then can see you. =[

CNY eve

2010-02-13T21:18:00.002+08:00

It's a night for reunion dinner.

I just finished mine, together with my aunties, mummy and brother.
hmmm.

supposed to go river angbao later.
but i still thinking to go anot.
heard alot of problems between the relative side, internal conflict.
guess than my angbao will be much lesser already.

every year my ang baos already veru little already, tis time it's going to go much lesser.

sigh.

dinner was simple and nice.
and the homemake cheese cake was fantastic. i am addicted to it.

i miss my gf so much.
i have not heard from her for more than 24 hours, whether be it by text or call.
i am still waiting.

interesting stuf to share

2010-02-11T02:04:00.002+08:00

Who say snail is slow?

"Fruitily" delicious pancakes

In a rush

2010-02-10T02:32:00.003+08:00

Have been staying back in school till 10 plus,
then rush home, have "dinner" and shower.
then on my lappie and start thinking and doing my assignment till about 4am in the morning,
sleep, then wake up the next day in the morning, then go to school again.

the whole cycle will jus go round and round again and again.

I feel super sleepy, super tired, and my back is like fucking aching away.

Feel super stress too.

boohoo~

That's all about me and my school.

My life now, excluding school activities, is still the same. somehow have not been going out after school. jus school and home, school and home.

CNY is coming.
I have gotten my clothes, my shoes. and accessories.
nothing much to get already i guess.

I'm satisfied with what i gotten for cny,
simple and "so me" type of clothes. love it.

ok. shall stop now. back to school work~

tata~

It's the 1st time, and it' unforgetable

2010-02-06T00:00:00.003+08:00

Went to PLAY yesterday.

was having a good time, until when the crowd goes wild.
Having guys in a lesbian party is totally a wrong thing. gay guys are fine, but most of them look straight.
Gay guys danced and the crowd is cheering. he is super hot. Everyone is high and cheered on the gay guy. And then, a straight indian guy appeared in the center of the crowd. kinda like challenging the gay guy. An then things happen, the gay guy start to take of his shirt and belt. butch unbutton his shorts, but it's not taken off.
he went over and show bare butt to the indian guy.
and in the end, the indian guy took off his pants, including his boxer.

A major turn off.
totally gross. I felt sth wrong when the crowd goes wild, and things happened. Gross level to the max! I am racist. i don't really care.
More and more guys appear in lesbian party which is like making it so weird.

anyway that is event 1.

here comes event number 2.

1st time in my life, i got into a fight, or maybe almost got into a fight.
with a gay guy somemore.

Actually i wan a girl to apologise since she push me damn hard, but she is stubborn. and being a bitch, she was barking away.
nv in my life, i saw such a bitch and bimbo, whereby they may appear they are not scared, but guess what?! she is a coward. she kinda like asking her fren to help her settle, and she dun even dare to look and scold us while looking at us? she keep mumbling her words towards her frens but dot directly at us?
It's really stupid.
Her frens all say she is drunk. so? If u cant drink well, then dun fucking drink more than what u can drink.
then i think the gay guy kinda drunk (different gay guy on the dance floor), and he came over and jus shouted and trying to hit me and everyone else with his handbag. then i jus went over and ask him like what is problem? it doesnt involved him at all. i rmb he keep saying "want to fight? come! I'm a man!" one thing for sure, i do not care whether u're a man or not when it comes to having my gf being pushed and W being pushed as well!
After that he grab hold of my hand, pulling me down or sth, i struggled and then he let go. because my gf went to punch him near his nose or mouth.
then both of them struggle!
I try to pull my gf away from him. every is pulling me, my gf and W away from the crazy guy.
I think the gay guy kinda pushed W, and send her to hit the chair or sth. then the next thine i know, i hear W throw a punch at his temple, which i think make him bleed because he got a eyebrow piercing.
Police came, and straight away, the gay guy apologised. it's like he suddenly sober already.

then or that BITCH, she was lucky. and i heard is them who called the police.
God bless them when we get to see them again.
cux apparently my gf dun wan to let this matter rest.
Yes, and that's my gf.

So many drama within like 2 hours.
we are not hiding anything so we are not worry about anything.

Anyone touches my frens and my gf,
will need people to bless them.

goodnight.

5th

2010-02-01T01:48:00.002+08:00

Happy 5th month.

but u are out clubbing.
intend to kiss u and whisper "happy 5th month" to you.

but once your fren called, and my plan ruined.
so i have to travel back alone, waiting for bus in town alone after u board your fren's cab, at 1130pm.

I jus feel, it's not a very happy monthsary today.

i love you very very much.

Bad headache

2010-01-30T03:10:00.002+08:00

I having a bad bad headache.

after work, i went out to meet my gf and charlie, they went for pool session.
but i dunno what's wrong with me, or the atmosphere there.
once i reach at k pool, my head is like bursting.
it's getting more and more painful and i can even feel my heart beat in my head.
it feels like shit seriously!

i cant even enjoy my night.
damn.

but overall it feels good to jus meet my gf after 2-3 days of not meeting her due to my busy schedule, and also some frens. =]

dor dor's bday celebration today at night! woo~

Jus being a pirate

2010-01-27T01:38:00.000+08:00

I feel like i am a pirate today.

woohoo~

Lu la la

2010-01-25T02:01:00.003+08:00

Can't really think of a title for this post. so jus any how lah~

I got my The Sim 3 game.
Many thanks to Whit and also my baby.

I enjoying the game very much. =]

Hmm.

Supposedly, my lesson is at 3pm later.
So "by right", i jus need to wake up at 1pm later.
BUT.
my class rep jus text up to go online for school stuff tmr. for some ilearning stuff.
at 11am!

ARGH.
damn angry.

it's stupid.
=[

Things happened.
Talks are involved.
It's still remain the same.
But we are working out alot of things with each other.
and we will work hard.

I love u so much that u can't imgaine.

Goodnight peeps.
i'm waiting for my baby to call.

=D

boo~

2010-01-22T04:37:00.002+08:00

My eyes,
super itchy.

my nose,
blocked.
keep sneezing.

my body.
tired.

boohoo~

i think i am cancelling tmr lesson.
so sleepy. need more rest.
working hard on sat and sunday morning~

i need extra cash~

Shut up bitch.

2010-01-20T00:13:00.001+08:00

Shut up bitch.
it's a shame to know u are one.

random

2010-01-18T01:01:00.004+08:00

I have to work hard,
and really study hard!

Jia you jia you jia you!
It's an old picture.
jus post it up for memories. tpss.

Wrong

2010-01-14T01:45:00.002+08:00

I can't sleep well for days.

I can't think for days.

I can't feel any emotion for days.

I'm like a living corpse.
jus doing what i am supposed to do for daily life.

the front that i put up in school,
no one will ever see through that mask of mine in school.

no one.

Deal with it.

2010-01-12T23:25:00.002+08:00

Wassup with Singaporean trying to act "ang moh"?
Having the accent will not make u one.

I saw and heard tons of people trying too hard.
thus making them a fool.

If you are a chinese, malay or indian, and also a Singaporean,
Be proud of it.

Y choose to be someone else?

Want to be one?
then migrate.
Do not disgrace yourself to the tourist.

bye now~

To who may it concern.

2010-01-12T01:25:00.002+08:00

To whoever,

I nv intend to set the image of myself as someone who excel in eng in my blog.
so what if i do not speak or write good eng here?
It doesn't matter.
Because it's my own blog and you guys are the ones who have the choice to read it or not.

If you guys are not happy with how i blog, don't read it.
If you guys think that i should not blog because of my ENG, one thing to say to u: "get a life of your own, what right do u have to stop me from blogging?"
If you guys think i am some stupid bitch, so be it. Whatever goes ard comes ard.
If you guys think that u blog way much better than i do, go ahead, it's none of my biz.

I did not mention in my blog before that my eng is "EXCELLENT"
I did not mention that i will blog in a very FLUENT ENG.

Not happy with how i talk or write?
deal with it.

bye now.

mixed feeling

2010-01-11T02:57:00.001+08:00

School Starts TODAY!

what kind of feelings should i have to show?

and, i miss the food in asian house. =[

Hi people

2010-01-10T03:24:00.002+08:00

Somehow i feel like locking my blog soon. maybe for a moment.
maybe within the up coming week, i'll lock it.

when i see my sister, jerine locked her blog,
i used to think why i locked my blog last time.
For me,
sometime i do need the extra privacy.

anway people,
if u still want to read my blog, give me a tag on my tag board or comment on my post.
leave yr email as well.
so that i will do the setting.

Many thanks!!

PLAY-ed

2010-01-08T23:59:00.004+08:00

I had fun last night at PLAY.

The company,
The laughters and so on.
A small drama i got to settle, but then i guessed, i did talk sense into her.

Some of the pics..

Have been feeling damn frustrated lately. esp....
Sigh.

I need to control it.
I need to control it.
I need to control it.

If not, things will turn out very very very bad.
Sigh.

I need to talk to ppl.
But i can't.
Because 1stly, they wont understand.
2ndly, I dunno how to say out in word. images flashing through my mind about what i amd worried, stressed or frustrated about, but i jus dunno how to put into words.

I am starting school next week,
and i hope that i will have the school study to distract me.
make me less frustrating,
distract me away from what is "frustrating" me or even my mind.

sigh.

Life

2010-01-07T14:00:00.000+08:00

It just come and goes.

sames goes to everything else.

it's jus the matter of time.

Start to..

2010-01-07T01:57:00.002+08:00

It's getting into me.
The pressure, the stress.

which make my mood go haywire.

I dunno how long more i can stand on.

I'm gg to collapse soon.

HNY 2010

2010-01-02T04:10:00.003+08:00

Sorry guys, i know i'm late by one day in wishing everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

It's year 2010.
and 10 is one of my fav number.

10 is the day of my birth, and the position number 10 of ABC, which is J, and it related to my name, Jiselle.

It's a new year.
I do not want to like type out my new year resolution out.
I always keep my new year resolution to myself.
=]

anyway, it's a new year, and i will wan to jus work hard and play hard.
And also earn more money.

and this year, i'm already like 23 already. fuck man.
now i know y women are afraid of being ask the age.

=[

改变世界，不如改变自己

2009-12-24T01:55:00.002+08:00

You can't change the world.

But you can always change yourself.

The changes may maintain for days, weeks, months, years, decades,

But eventually, old habit will jus come back.

The old self will once again return.

Then again we will want to change again.

The cycle just go round and round, non stop.

I have tried to make changes.

I am still trying,

Jus that you didn't see.

Trying is not jus a one time things, it wont straight away succeed overnight.

It's a continuous thing till you succeed.

and that is why it is call trying.

I am,

Jus that you didn't see.

Good night.

Vampires

2009-12-23T19:38:00.002+08:00

Since young i always like supernatural stuffs, esp, Vampires.
i find them interesting.

I always like to watch Vampire movies, TV series etc.
Example, movies - Twilight, Underworld and for TV series, Vampires Dairies, True Blood etc.
Recently i have been watching Vampires Dairies and true blood. and i love it.
Love story between Vampires and Humans, it's so extraordinary.

Yea, i know it's jus shows, they are fake blah blah blah.
I nv say they are real. i jus like them. =]

anyway, i'm like googling online now about vampires.
jus to satisfy my curiosity.

there are so many version of vampires.

Creating vampires

The causes of vampiric generation were many and varied in original folklore. In Slavic and Chinese traditions, any corpse which was jumped over by an animal, particularly a dog or a cat, was feared to become one of the undead.A body with a wound which had not been treated with boiling water was also at risk. In Russian folklore, vampires were said to have once been witches or people who had rebelled against the Church while they were alive.

supposed to post everything up.

but it's jus too many from Wikipedia.

here's the link.

Vampires from Wiki

like it or not.

i'm jus a totl fan of vampires. =]

SIMS 3

2009-12-19T02:14:00.002+08:00

I want to play Sims 3!!!

fuck. why can't i?

damn it.

really feel damn pek chek after trying for hours and hours.

fuck fuck fuck.

random pic.

2009-12-15T02:30:00.002+08:00

Herstory party at Zouk. DEC 2009

Hatred

2009-12-15T02:00:00.004+08:00

This few days i have not been myself.

No appetite.
Moody.
Grumpy.

Maybe it's pms, maybe it not.
Maybe it's some other thing that is affecting it.

Other that me not being myself,

I found myself starting to hate.
Hate many many things.

I'm getting tired.

I need some distraction.

W-E-I-R-D

2009-12-14T03:44:00.001+08:00

Spell it.

It's Weird.

So who is?

I AM!

so stay away from me.
Cux i'm a weirdo!

In desperate end.

2009-12-11T21:34:00.001+08:00

I nv feel so broke be4.

seriously.

sigh.

Love and Hatred, both are the same thing.

2009-12-08T00:48:00.003+08:00

I hate you all as much as i love u all.

When I talk back, i'm being said to be disrespectful,
When i shut up, The cursing and swearing is on going, and yet, i feel like a fucking loser.

so what should i do.

I just cant wait to move out.

It will be my last.

2009-12-05T02:04:00.000+08:00

"IT" will be my last one already.

no more.

i'm satisfied and happy with it.

Monthsary again

2009-12-01T01:25:00.000+08:00

It's our 3rd month.

=]

i'm tired

2009-11-29T02:43:00.001+08:00

I feel like, i'm 40 years old.

work and have aches everywhere.

tired easily.

lazy.

wth is happening to me.

i tout this age of mine now is suppose to be a prime age for alot of things.

damn.

我愛他- 丁噹

2009-11-24T23:03:00.003+08:00

他的情况留在
某一节车厢
地下铁里的风
比回忆还重
整座城市一直等着我
有一段感情还在漂泊
对他唯一遗憾
是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪
都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏都不肯醒来
我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂最终的荒唐
如果还有遗憾
又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
逃不开爱越深越互相伤害
越深的依赖越多的空白
该怎么去爱
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏都不肯醒来
我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂最终的荒唐
如果还有遗憾
是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪
都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭
让他知道我可以很好

I'm gonna

2009-11-23T01:24:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna pretend that i do not have a family anymore.

whatever u guys say,
i ignore
whatever u guys scold,
i ignore
whatever u guys nag,
i ignore

i do my part to report to you whatever u need to know.
but other than that,
i will jus treat that u guys are there for the sake of being there,
nothing much but jus like room mates.

i have finally clear my mind, realising that,
there's no point arguing and so on.
cux no matter what,
i always lose.
because of who i am.

that's all.

U are nothing to me.

2009-11-21T12:14:00.002+08:00

U are jus nothing to me.

Your sound i treat it as wind whistling.
Your nagging, i treat it as a song.
Your scolding i treat it as radio spoilt.
Your fucked up face i treat it as a ugly picture that i dun bother to take a sec to look at.

So who do u think you are?

tell u wat.
You are just nothing.

so fucked off from my life.

Go away.

2009-11-20T10:51:00.003+08:00

when i reading the previous post, i think of you.

but whenever i had nice things in my mind and blog, it will jus lead to a sudden change in everything.

i hate it.

go away, i dun wan to see or hear anyone.

下一站，幸福。

2009-11-20T02:54:00.002+08:00

有些人的人生，是直達車
有些人卻是慢車，中間總要經過許多站，經歷許多人…

有人總是下錯站，坐過頭，不是錯失了窗外風景，就是錯過了身旁的人
沒有人知道，能陪自己坐到終點站的人，究竟會是誰….
相愛的人，真的就能一路到達人生的終點站嗎？

I love this sentence.

It's my birthday card!

2009-11-18T01:15:00.001+08:00

It's a huge ass birthday card, and i love it.
thank you rae for making the effort to get ard to get the people to sign it.
i really appreciate it. And thanks to the people who sign and also for the gift.

It's my best birthday ever.

I feel the love from all of you. thank you!!

2009-11-17T03:03:00.003+08:00

running nose,
coughs,
bad headaches.

now with swollen eyes.
painful nose,
tons of coughs,
and worse headache.

tears are there.

but more words are exchanged. we communicate and we understand.
I'm loving you more and more every single day.

i just cant explain why.

loves~
I cry is not because you make me.
I cry is the way i unleashed out my feeling,
the way i let out all my unhappiness.

I nv cry for a particular person other than my grandma and a class mate of mine who past away when i'm in sec 1 due to car accident.

See me cry is easy.
See me cry because of a particular person is difficult.

to be or not to be.

2009-11-12T02:47:00.001+08:00

To party or not to party?

and that's a question.

submission over. but presentation on friday morning. hmm..
thinking to party or not tmr. damn.

HB 2

2009-11-11T01:43:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday to me yesterday,
Happy birthday to my baby today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!

with tons and tons of love.

yea, i know, i jus older than her by jus one fine day. one fine day.

happy now?

=]

HB

2009-11-10T00:44:00.000+08:00

It's my birthday!

I'm 22 already~

-.-|||

felt old instantly already.

I pretend

2009-11-06T15:31:00.006+08:00

When you apologized, i say" it's okay. no worries."

But actually It's not really okay.

totally not okay.

but i still say "it's okay", because i dun wan to be fucking unreasonable gf.

i want to be a gf whereby, not petty, being very reasonable, and best gf.

I tried doing things that i dun usually do.

it's difficult for me, but i still do.

everyone will tend to compare the current date or gf, with the best ex they ever had, whether be best on bed, best on handling tempers,or whatsoever. compare compare compare.

i fucking hate that.

i just can't stop images, words and voices from going into my mind.

i need to stop!

fuck.

Memories.

2009-11-06T14:53:00.003+08:00

msw 2009.

nice experiences and so on.

i feel afraid, scared.

2009-11-02T12:11:00.002+08:00

(written on the 2nd nov, 2.30am)

I got this fear inside my heart.

It felt cold, lonely, and scary.

I think i felt afraid, and scared.

why am i feeling this when i left your house.

I felt the warm in your arms, i felt safe in your arms.

But once u went back to sleep, i felt, cold.

the coldness made me shiver non-stop. i can feel the cold in my heart, and in the bones.

It's not the aircon, it's not the cold floor.

how should i put it if u guys dun understand it.

i myself also dunno why am i feeling this.

i dunno.

i'm scared. and cold.

I hate this feeling.

It makes me think too much sometime, and sometime, i dun even know what kind of things am i thinking.

Stupid Fire Drill in school

2009-10-30T10:48:00.002+08:00

I'm early in school now and i really very lazy to start what i need to start. my ISP.

just now i came and settle everything down outside the library, and then i saw my print making teacher and he told me got fire drill.

totally sucks. cuz i totally hate to participate in fire drill. damn it.

so i pack everything back to my bag, and then i just take my time to the 7-eleven. and get a choco milk. haha.

and had a smoke break.

anyway, congras to jerine, my beloved sister, had her 1st month with her girlfriend. =]

will get to see you at tmr halloween party.

speaking of that, i still stuck with what to dress up with.

thinking jus simple one with vampire teeth or sth. or another option is i still can use my Miss singapore sash, to go there as the finalist! good idea right? i surf the net and got the idea from there. =]

anyway i think i need to start on my school work liao. sian.

will blog again~

Movie night that almost make me lose my last bus

2009-10-28T01:33:00.002+08:00

Yeap. i watched this together with my girlfriend.

it's an interesting show. kinda like a comedy as well.

My rating: 3.9 out of 5

the 0.1 is for taking too long and i almost miss the last bus home.
if i missed it, i will have to take cab, and i do not have money for can actually. damn.

hate being poor.

Monday Morning Train Crowd.

2009-10-27T09:07:00.002+08:00

Actually i wanted to like blog in the train, but i dun have any idea how since i do not have Internet access and i do not know how to blog through the phone or sth. so yeap. i know i'm sua ku.

anyway about this morning crowd in the stupid train.

i usually take to pasir ris then take to bugis for school. but then, it happens that today is a fuck up day.

Most of the days, i'm too stone to go and notice about how the crowd will be like, but apparently today, i kinda not really stoning, so i notice the crowd.

1. Singaporeans are really fucking kiasu. (i know everyone know that). And yes, i'm a singapore as well. but i'm not as kaisu as them! office people are pains in the asses. following the rules, you are supposed to be queuing behind the yellow line, wait for people to come out, but apparently, some assholes are not doing it. they are taking the risk to get knock down by the train, or even get pulled along with the train. Why are they doing this? Just because they want to like get a seat in the stupid train. i mean i do want a seat as well, but then i won't want to die so young.

2. They don't let people come out 1st, heck care about the queue, as long as they got a seat. there is this office guy, was queueing way behind me, and when the train arrived, i turned and saw him standing beside me! like wtf right? then when some people just want to get out of the train, he just want to get in asap, and me, i'm just being the bad person and block his way. As if i care about him.

In the train..

3. I know my leg is very long, but i can't help it. i already try my best not to block people's way, and i still have people stepping on my foot, without apologising at all. they just look at me as if me having long legs is so fucking wrong.

4. I do not like people to touch me, esp strangers, esp guys, man, or even old man. I just feel uncomfortable. But why do they like to touch me? maybe not purposely, but still, i feel so uncomfortable. I just want them to leave me alone. i already squeezed to a corner and it's not helping.

Getting out of the train.

5. well. it's glad to know that some people are kind enough to make way for the people to get out of the train.

6. I know i'm tall, but then you people do not have to stare at me like some freak jus because i'm standing up from my seats and preparing to leave. It's getting on my nerves.

Totally, Kaisu (super) Singaporeans are a shame to our own country.

That's all.

Got to get back to school work.

why?

2009-10-25T02:53:00.001+08:00

Why can't love be as easy as ABC?

i'm right.
love is complicated.

pictures

2009-10-23T23:44:00.002+08:00

as promised.

ZBL and fuckup gastric

2009-10-23T13:48:00.002+08:00

ZBL=Zo Bo Lan. (hokkien-do nothing)

now sitting outside my classroom, doing nth, apparently blogging.

still cant go into my classroom yet, so yeap.

i took a cab to school jus now due to my gastric.

it's still painful though.

super uncomfortable.

fuck.

now i jus waiting for the other class to end their lesson then i can go in and sit down on a chair and do my school work.

oh shit.

it's painful.

bye now.

...

2009-10-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

Sentosa today with baby.

still alright. pictures will be uploaded soon, nw i super lazy.

and moody.

so not much words, bye.

Up next

2009-10-17T12:30:00.003+08:00

Up Next, ISP.

Normal Subjects assessments is over. It ended yesterday. ISP starts on the Tues. and from what i heard from my friends, there are tons of things to do. Damn. I find myself have not been working hard enough for my school. i need to work harder. like seriously. but how to?

Will i be able to work hard for my upcoming ISP?

I need to work hard.

sigh.

I need to go to work later.
so sian, but today is public holiday. so the pay will be slightly more.
I cant wake for end of the month of my pay. I have an aim to do sth already.
=]

*this pic we took be4 we even start dating.

I miss baby. badly.

We had a nice talk yesterday, and i feel that she can be the one that i can be open up to. For the past 22 years, i always keep things inside my hearts, not intentionally, it's jus naturally that i find things have no point to tell ppl, so naturally, i'll jus dun say out.
anyway for the past 22 years, it's really difficult for me to open my mouth and tell things to ppl, even own partner. i will say, but not everything.
My ex partner, dun even bother to ask me to open up to them, only her, only this current one, have been keep asking me to be open up to her. sometime, to say the truth, i get very irritated when she keep asking me to open up to her, i jus think that she dun understand how much i have been trying to open up to her, and it's really difficult for me to do it. it's making me very tired.
yesterday, i jus decided to tell her that it's really tiring to force me to say things out and so on, and i cried.
I nv cry in front of baby before. I cried.
and I feel that she understand how i feel when i told her about it.
even though she still wan me to try to change, at the same time, she will no longer force me to change so fast till i couldnt handle.

I love u baby.
=]

clear

2009-10-14T00:14:00.003+08:00

Mixing with a group or even jus one lesbian, doesn't make you a lesbian.
if you are one, then u will be one.

who say i used to be straight?
no one knows whether i used to be bisexual or not.
even i myself also dunno. I jus assumed that i was straight. because when i was young, i nv had any gf. but i do like girls be4? so what does it mean then.

and to agree with rae, happiness can be found regardless of gender. so to . , From what i see and read, i assume that you're a straight guy, maybe know me personally.
and if you do, please, either u show yrself up, or jus stop bothering about how my life is.

what kind of era is this now?
Accept the fact man!

and one warning, dun you dare to start commenting about my friends. It's my warning, a very serious one, to you.
even my own gf dun comment about my own group of frens.

try me, if u dare.

Love

2009-10-13T02:40:00.002+08:00

U are not here physically when i need you the most.
but it's okay,

I know you are here with me mentally, taking care of me, helping me to destress.
thank you baby.

I know you wan to help me and so on. But i dun wan you to stress together with me. i rather stress alone.

it's time for me to slp.
headaches.
good night.

night baby! sleep well.

Stresssssss.....

2009-10-12T23:15:00.003+08:00

This week is submission week!

whereby everyone is getting like almost no sleep at all. and so on.

it's a week to slim down totally.

I totally have no appetite to eat even though i'm hungry.
i totally like lack of sleep.
and now having mild headache.

i hope i'm on track.
seriously.

Favourite song for now.

2009-10-12T01:27:00.001+08:00

It's on repeating mode on my itunes!!!!

It's really nice.
go and listen to it!!!

to the . (full stop) that has been tagging my my tagboard.

2009-10-09T13:32:00.002+08:00

I dunno you, and i hope, i really dunno who you are in real life. and maybe u are jus some random stranger that passed by my blog.

thanks for your concern and all. but you're not me or maybe can say you're not gal.. so maybe you have no idea what we want.

pls don hide from someone you really care , show them. don come and show to someone you donno.

=]

everything jus sucks to the core.

2009-10-09T00:49:00.001+08:00

Everything jus sucks to the core without money.

everything need money.
eat, walk, travel.

broke like shit.
dun even dare to eat outside.

shall survive on maggi mee.

i need fast cash, any job available???

Grumpi-ness

2009-10-07T01:18:00.002+08:00

Eating mac, half way, then rush to toilet, and realised, i jus had the time of the month.
like wtf.

and it's cramping now. double wtf.

i cant imagine tmr. how the cramp will like.
triple wtf.

New up!

2009-10-03T02:16:00.004+08:00

New tattoo.

i love it.

silly? stupid?
what's the hurry?
i dun think that way, i do it because i want to.

woke up tis morning with much displease.
and decided to jus get out of the house.
no matter how many time she missed call me, she text me, i jus want to be alone.
then random thought, i wanna get a tattoo.
so i went down and get it done.

problems, problems.
school, work, family, and so on and so fore.
so sick of it.
i jus hope everyone will jus like live happily ever after?
which is impossible.

oh well.

yup.

中秋节快乐

It's our 1st month

2009-10-01T00:15:00.002+08:00

I nv really blog about my relationship in my blog. this current one.

since it's the 1st month, i decided to blog about it.

Our honeymoon lasted 3 days and we already start quarrelling.

you and me,
our character mostly the same, temper the same, attitude also the same.
we have the same horoscope, born in the same years, same month, jus a day apart.
couple with the same character, can be a very very very good thing, or it can turn out to be a very very very bad thing as well.

yes, our honeymoon didnt lasted for 3 month (which is supposed to be for new relationship i guessed).
i tout the moment when we quarrel, i have the thinking we wont last through a month or so.
and yet, now, it's our 1st month together.

i always dun believe in relationship, and now i still not fully believe.
ever since the past fail relationship, i had given up on love.
i dunno about how am i gg to be like in the future, but i know i love how things are now, and i'm happy being together with you.

happy 1st month-sary.
thank you for your present, i love it.
and i hope you like the one i gave you as well.

Doom's Day 21/12/2012

2009-09-25T12:01:00.002+08:00

Apparently i heard end of the world will be on 21 december 2012.

only jus 3 more years.
I'll be 25 then.

and only 25 and i need to die liao.

i was watching discovery channel.
alot of things related to end of the world.

what will lead to end of the world.

super volcano?

Misused of nuclear weapons or sth?

War?

sickness? easily transmitted deadly virus?

Alien invasion?

metors attacks which will jus burn us like bbq?

global warming? rising of the earth temperature?
1 degree increase in our global thermometer will lead to the extinction of corals, expansion of desert and depleting of living things.
2 degree increase in our global thermometer will lead to melting of the north pole, leading to more floods, and natural disaster, even stronger one.
3-5 degree increase will lead o most of the ice melted and we will see huge part of land thaat is not so productive to live on.
5-6 degree will lead to millions or billion of humans starve to death which will lead to the mass extinction!

a real live "Terminator" movie portray on earth?
i mean u nv know that one fine day, intelligence will turn their back again us.
machines and so on have been helping human being, and u nv know one day machines can even help us fight a war. though now machines are usually remote control now, but in the future they may jus be in auto mode and turn their back ard us?
imagine that.

atomic pacman? eating humans?

being sucked up by black hole?

Ice age for the whole earth?

Death of the sun?
explosion of the sun that burn the earth.
sun flare that will harm the earth?

Oh my.
I guess, i'll jus die young.
=]

too many things

2009-09-24T01:20:00.003+08:00

I having so many things in my mind.

I'm so sick of them.

so many issues.
I need to work harder.

jiayou bah jiselle.

I can feel a lil stress on my shoulder already.
i need to work hard, and earn more money.

I wanna help u.
U beat around the bush, like asking me to leave u, even though u love me, yet u jus dun wan to be my burden. u dun wan to be jus like my ex, who is so useless. u jus dun wan to make me suffer.
I wan to be fair.
want to suffer? then suffer together!
want me to be happy? then happy together!

fuck.

i dun feel like talking about it already.
stop

scar

2009-09-21T01:15:00.002+08:00

I burnt my hand at work yesterday!!
u see the scar!!??!

damn it.
it's still painful.

i had to bandage to work today.
to avoid any touching of the injure part with anything.

have been scooping ice cream for hours.
legs are tired, back is aching.
so damn tired.

but the OT pay today is worth it.

tmr not working!!! off day for me before starting school on tue!!
so sick of school now.

where is my holiday!!!!
booohoo.

Good morning

2009-09-19T11:16:00.002+08:00

It's a raining morning.
so cooling. it's a day that you can sleep more than u want to.

BUT!
I got to work.
the weekend will be spend on working.
full shift! money please come in fast!!!
I have been working quite a number of OT. and i hope the money will be good. =]

I'm getting too poor already.
Recently, i'm spending too much. it's so draining.

anyway, i got to go work soon.
ta ta.

So wrong

2009-09-16T01:52:00.003+08:00

Me being stiff, with the fuck care attitude, with a tough character.

is being categorized as sth is wrong.

"it's jus not girly at all"
"it's not a femme type of character"
"why are you so "man"?"

why are u "this" why are u "that"

If i have to accept who u are, u also have to accept who i am.

to end the whole tiff or arguement, "well, we only get take a step at a time."

oh well.

speechless.

stressed up

2009-09-14T04:38:00.002+08:00

Yeap.

it's already 4.39am! and i still working on my school work! so tired now and sweating like shit.
tonight weather is damn F warm!!!

grrr.

Infographic done.

magazine cover half way i guess.

newsletter- not started yet.

character design- need to edit.

sketches for 2 lessons!!!

i'm so going crazy!!!!

enough

2009-09-13T03:43:00.000+08:00

I'm so sick of everything.

i dunno anything and everything anymore. i seem to be in fault always.

Which one do you prefer? =]

2009-09-08T19:31:00.002+08:00

so?

=]

Highlighted hair

2009-09-07T13:36:00.002+08:00

Mayb not be able to see properly.
But whatever lah. sian

not in good mood.

alcoholic

2009-09-06T03:44:00.002+08:00

have i become an alcoholic.
st james for 2 night straight.

anyway,
i jus highlighted my hair.
like it.
hopefully people wont call my ah lian.

it's been 5 years since i last dyed my hair.

will post up the picture soon.

I need Boozing badly

2009-09-01T03:44:00.000+08:00

Booze-deprived.

Need some.

where?

drunk?

RANDOM!

For who i am

2009-08-29T02:54:00.002+08:00

My mum, hates me for who i am.

My birth mother.

yea, She hates me for who i am.
for me being crooked.
for me talking on the phone often.

she scolded me, together with her being on the phone with me.
threaten her, threaten me.
etc etc.

Mum, i do love u.
but i'm so sorry to say,
and i hate u at the same time.

Leave me alone, and u get peace,
Get control of me and u will get hell.

Shut the f up, even though u are my mum

2009-08-26T23:43:00.002+08:00

So what?

please kindly accept that your lovely daughter is a lesbian.

Yes, once bitten twice shy. but being gay will always be gay.
Take it or leave it, your daughter is like that. u cant change tis fucking fact!!

Don't want a lesbian daughter?
then throw me away.
Dun recognise me as your daughter.

I dun give a shit.

Yes u gave birth to me.
yes, i do love u.

but hello?
It's MY life!!
MINE!

got this clear!

so many things happen today.
I jus feel like mia-ing

=]

2009-08-26T21:15:00.001+08:00

The way u look at me and smile.
Looks sweet.

Fever

2009-08-24T12:54:00.002+08:00

In the end, i had fever.

but now the temperature went down so still alright.

It's raining heavily at east side.

and i'm feeling hungry now.

Boo hoo.

I need to rest. tonight movie.
=]

Sniff sniff

2009-08-23T11:18:00.002+08:00

Gao wei max!!

I having a cold, running nose, sore throat, and also coughs.

how can my life be better?!!

thanks for the medicine that u brought all the way down. =]

Drink drink and drink.

2009-08-22T03:21:00.004+08:00

I'm not drunk.

jus very tipsy.

hurray to alcohol!!!

F

2009-08-21T04:41:00.001+08:00

I'm F sleepy now.

I'm a F person, who wants no commitment, nothing.
I enjoy how i am now. and i have no F intention to mislead people.

good F night.

stuff

2009-08-17T02:20:00.002+08:00

Apparently, today i'm in a pissy mood.

being aeroplane-d
waited for people for an hour.

these 2 things is in the so called "the thing i hate to kena"

within that hour, i called, i text, no replies at all. and finally when i got one, none is coming, and that make me look like a fool in the mall, waiting, and so on.

so in the end, i travel down to west side to look for frens.
and then supper.

Lesson learn-
i'm not gg to meet frens when they are not confirm with anything. as is 100% confirm!

argh so pissed off

For what?

2009-08-15T00:55:00.002+08:00

I didn't know that for someone i didn't talk to for a very long time,
Know about my new piercing.
Only close frens knows about it and school mates.

but apparently, i didn't mention in my blog and so on and what's make it so weird is that, someone whom i nv contact anymore knows about it.

so when i know it, i was hmm. totally no comment.

i know u still read my blog so on and so for, and i didnt say anything or what so ever. it's your choice, internet belong to everyone.

i jus dun like the fact that since i'm out o your life, u are still getting regular update by people.
nothing against it.

jus a random thought.

no names mentioned.

National day.

2009-08-12T03:18:00.003+08:00

So whassup with my National day?
Yess i know it's like 2-3 days back.
been lazy to update blog.

clubbing, alcohol, drunk, WATERFALL.
haha.

But i was having fun that night.

cux our group was quite big that night.

Peektures!

Love the Twoqueensparty pledge.
It's awsome.

ok i know my fringe look damn weird. i know.
hate my fringe to the max.

There are things that i can't do.
but i will decide on the things that i want to do.
and everyone knows what is the things i have decided.
cux i have been repeating them.

I'm still moody, but, i guess, that's life.

sleepless night?

2009-08-11T02:08:00.002+08:00

I went offline.

trying to stone till i fall aslp.
but it fails.

my eyes jus dun wan to close.
my mind jus dun wan to stop running.
my body jus keep turning and turning.

i need to wake up at 7 later for school.
what should i do.

a whole day class.

school sucks.
work sucks.
everything sucks.

i pray for things to be better.

for now, leave me alone.
i'm happier alone somehow.

No oxygen

2009-08-11T00:43:00.003+08:00

I feel as if, there's no oxygen in the air.

It's a secret.

I do not want anything.

Leave me alone.

Random.

Rarr