Sorry for the disapointment

I know you dun read my blog.
so ya.

but i jus feel like saying them out.

I'm sorry for not able to complete your job.
I feel bad, guilty and so on.

the reasons i have, is jus like excuses to you.

but those reasons are stressing the shit out of me.

damn.

sorry for everything.

sorry for causing you upset and disappointed.

I feel..

Scared.

But don't know of what.

I have too many things to handle.
I don't have time for both sides.

Before the time ends,
I think i have already have a decision.

To be alone,
Like being a nun,
sound like a good idea huh.
=]

good morning.

Speechless

I don't know what to say.
And i hate saying and repeating already.

Say to jus let me decide.
I know.
I am.

However, i'm sticking to the deadline no matter what.

Whatever you showed me today,
yourself.

It makes me speechless.
Not i don't what to say to you.

Is i jus don't want to.

So ya.

i'm going to jus goes how i feel and what i want myself to have.

night people.

Chinese New Year's

Tmr wil be Cny day 1 already!

There will be like alot of people to eat reunion dinner together.
Usually is only me, my mum, sister and brother.
today added 3 more aunts, My mother's sister.

All of them are not married so ya.

and also of course, Romeo.

Usually i have entertainment after Cny eve reunion dinner,
But this time, i guess not, i think i'll jus watch tv or sth. =]

I jus reach home ard 5 plus jus now.
Went to meet up with darling yanru.
and she is late for like an hour, so i went to do some shopping myself.
and within in 1 hour, i gotten like 2 heels, 1 top, and 1 sports bra.
Haha.
Guess how much i spend.

jus $55 bucks!

Everywhere is like having sales.

when got a girly talk with darling during lunch.
and i loves her tons!

She makes my day!

Anyway, after we got to like go back for our dinner, we give each other a peck on the cheek!
hahahaha.

Happy CNY my dear! =]

Hugs.

Oh ya.
Met a few bitches in town today!
Very very very bad.

Yanru, you know what or who i mean as well! hahahaha.

bye now!

reunion dinner gg to start liao. =]

i guess

Now i'm back home.

Alone at home with romeo.
he's a dog btw.
Will post out his pic soon if i'm not lazy to even take a pic with him.

Can tell that he feels lonely.
when i went out for school, i have to lock him in the kitchen.
and for the 6 hours that i'm outside in school including travelling, he's alone at home.

Once i let him out, he went running around the house and keep shaking his short tail.

i love to see him being like that,
it's like someone is happy to see me.
okay. maybe something is happy to see me.

I will be going out to work later at night, and i think romeo will be alone until my mummy comes back from work.

guess what.
I guess everyone is avoiding me.

It seems like it.

I got nothing to comment about.

For once,
I feel like i'm alone.
no one talking to me,
no one call me,
no one even contact me at all.
Except for ms Lai.
I guess she know that i'm being emo recently and my temper is seriously very bad.



I'm addicted to this song.
Seldom listen to japanese song.

Utada Hikaru
Prisoner Of Love lyrics

I'm a prisoner of love
Prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love
I'm just a prisoner of love
A prisoner of love

Heiki na kao de uso wo tsuite
Waratte iyake ga sashite
Raku bakari shiyou to shite ita

Naimononedari BURU-SU
Mina yasuragi wo motomete iru
Michitariteru noni ubaiau
Ai no kage wo otte iru

Taikutsu na mainichi ga kyuu ni kagayakidashita
Anata ga arawareta ano hi kara
Kodoku demo tsurakutemo heiki da to omoeta
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love

Prisoner of love
Prisoner of love
I'm a prisoner of love

Yameru toki mo sukoyaka naru toki mo
Arashi no hi mo hare no hi mo tomo ni ayumou

I'm gonna tell you the truth
Hitoshirezu tsurai michi wo erabu
Watashi wo ouen shite kureru
Anata dake wo tomo to yobu

Tsuyogari ya yokubari ga muimi ni narimashita
Anata ni ai sareta ano hi kara
Jiyuu demo yoyuu demo hitori ja munashii wa
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love

Oh mou sukoshi da yo
Don't you give up
Oh misutenai zettai ni

Zankoku na genjitsu ga futari wo hikisakeba
Yori issou tsuyoku hikareau
Ikura demo ikura demo ganbareru ki ga shita
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love

Arifureta nichijou ga kyuu ni kagayakidashita
Kokoro wo ubawareta ano hi kara
Kodoku demo tsurakutemo heiki da to omoeta
I'm just a prisoner of love
Just a prisoner of love

I'm a prisoner of love
Prisoner of love
Prisoner of love
I'm just a prisoner of love
I'm a prisoner of love

Stay with me, stay with me
My baby, say you love me
Stay with me, stay with me
Hitori ni sasenai

This song is being played in my blog currently.





For this moment now,
who do i need?
What do i need?

Something that bothers me alot,

But i can't say it out.

No matter what,
All i wan is for the people around me and also those who worth it, to be happy.

I can sacrifice myself to make people happy.

Stop it, shiping.
It's time for you to be happy for your own, treat yourself better and so on.
you need to be happy.

Guess what,
I did. I was happy.
now it's nothing already.
jus moody and keep on frowning every single day.

I nv have enough rest.
every single day i feel so fucking tired and sleepy.


I wonder, how long will i stay alive till i totally drop dead due to tiredness.

21 jan, reunion dinner among friends

No pictures were taken.
so there wont be any pictures.

anyway,
the whole steamboat was really nice.
They made my night happy.
until i reach home.

and stress about school work, and outside job.

I'm so tired mentally.
and i cant even sleep now.

damn it.

I have been feeling very very stressed up lately.
And i really have to like be really happy.

I always make ppl happy 1st be4 me,
and now, people say i must change.
But it's difficult.
cuz it's my habit.

Can change, but it will take a really long time.

So ya.

Intend to blog more,
but there are somethings that are meant to keep to myself.
and maybe one day, i will forget abt it.

night people.

Latest love!

Last friends!

Title :
Last Friends

Cast:
Nagasawa Masami, Ueno Juri, Eita, Mizukawa Asami, Nishikido Ryo, Yamazaki Shigenori

Synopsis
Last Friends tackles issues that afflict the current generation. Michiru's mother has brought a man back to their home and she is bullied at her workplace where she works as a beauty parlour assistant. She starts cohabiting with her boyfriend, a good young man who works at the Child Welfare Division and the only person who can give her emotional support, but ends up the victim of domestic violence and becomes fearful of love. The boyishly charming Ruka was a classmate of Michiru's in junior high school. She has performed brilliantly as a motocross racer and aims to win the national championship, but as the story progresses, a deep worry that she can neither confide in her parents or close friends grows evident. Takeru is a hair and makeup artist acquainted with Ruka. He is a good confidant to females due to his kindness and perceptiveness, and finds himself attracted to Ruka but has a phobia of sex as a result of a past trauma. The three of them become house mates and through their associations with others, gain the capacity to be positive about life.


Very Very nice story.

=]

Go and find it online and watch!
It's worth it.

today

I had a slackest but yet most health harming job ever today.

and that's call easy money.

=]

The in-charge says, if i turn into a bung or butch,
he can nv hire me again as a model and he will be damn sad.

Haha.

interesting.

I should like

Become a bung/butch!

Haha.

I mean why not.
I love wearing jeans, sneaker.
dress up like a boy like that.

haha.
Good idea right.
I got the height and the looks somemore.






just kidding.

I still love my long hair.
I still love modelling.
I still love being girly sometime.

and i still love putting on make up!
I can't leave my house without any make up on!

seriously.

Haha.

It's been quite sometime since i last blog.

Some pictures update.

Went out with groups of friends on saturday night.
Went to town.
and i think i was sick that time.

York feng with her spec after so freaking long time i didnt see her in specs.

Jo and yanru. (lovely teeth huh)
Jon, Being punished

Lovely darling.



Hahaha. the lighting is nice. *focused on the lighting


She is being mean trying to poke her face while i busy rubbing my eyes.

drinking beer.

Botak jones's finger food. all done.

Jo. reading

Yuzheng and Ren.

Cute lil thing

Turn. and turn somemore

Drink, drink somemore.

Yuki (lovely young kid) and cadeo. (shy to take picture.)

Me and jon. I was in glasses that day.

jon and me talking.



Many things have happened.
and school jus started this week.

Jus 2 days, and i'm about to die already.
So many thigns to do.
So many work to work on.

I still got part time.

I totally have no time anymore.

Sorry, but you have to take this instead.

Some time, i do miss you.
Some time, i don't.

If this is the answer that you wanna get from me.

SO..

If your phone vibrates and that moment you saw my name in it, you mood went downhill,

all i can say is, Thanks.

I didnt know i will make your mood go downhill.

So yup.
you probably wont hear from me.

and u feel like dying while having me in your mind,
Then i guess,

i'll jus make myself disappear in front of you.

It's for u

I got nothing to say anymore.

I jus wanna shut up.

All i did,
is for your own good.
Be it whether u appreciate it or nt.

The things i say.
it's in a wrong way.
but if u wan is jus to mis-interpret it.
then, there's nothing more i can say.

Yes lynn,
I know what u saying and all this. and i dun blame u for knowing all these.
I take in your words to me, and absorb them.
i'm grateful for your words to me.
i really do.

It's jus that,
i don't like she herself even without telling me how it feels like after i say all these.
telling u everything, and showing u all the sms-es that i sent her.
and you r the one who come and tell me.
Upright disappointment.

i don't go around showing people about my fren's messages.
Because i don't like it.
it's fine if she jus tell you,
but instead, she chose to forward u the msges that i sent her.
Which is making me so upset now.

*end


the feeling i'm having now.
I jus wanna cry alone.
and i couldnt be bothered anymore.
your life, your choice, your own decision.

bye.

Vote for me

Vote for me.

http://www.tatarah.com/boty/index.html

if you really wan to.

=]

hugs and kisses.

from time to time

A day has passed,
the anger in me still there.

I cant believe i can be angry for tis long.

I just cant believe that you can be so irresponsible again.

You too much for me to handle.
I'm already stressful enough, and since that school is starting soon, i can't bring myself to like have you as my burden again.

If i can choose,
I wish all these are jus a dream, and i nv get to know u be4.
Yes, it maybe mean, but i cant eat, i cant sleep well, i'm falling sick is all because of u.
overall, i suffered alot because of you.

U know how i talked.
I'm very direct.
too direct.

it may hurt u, but then again, i think this is how i think and i really feels.

Falling sick.

I feel hot yet, my skin feels cold.

I'm running a fever again.

i having throat irritation.

I having cramps.
very very painful.

It hurts so much.

Now i jus wan to cover myself in blanket.
and jus hide in one corner and be alone.

I hate the things happen.
and everyone jus keep asking me to forgive you,
Sorry i cant.
Not now.
I cant bring myself to.

i'm too tired.
tired till i fall sick.
the pain is unbearable.

Fuck you.

All the scene u have created.

u jus keep bugging ppl. pulling ppl down with you.

How much trouble u make.
How much burden you become

and big disappointment i must say.

I'm feeling sick, i'm feeling tired, i'm feeling stress up
all because of the fucking you.

Fuck you.
Fuck everything.

I hate you.

Drink, Drank, Drunk

Yesterday on the Eve of New year,
Went down to eve.

Tons of people,
Having fun there, and yup drink alot.

Apparently, alot of people know that my alcohol level better than some of them, Yet, yesterday is really high and puked.
totally feeling damn uncomfortable.

Luckily, i did not have any hangover, if not, i cant even work today.

Happy New Year everyone!!