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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

What is the feeling?

The feeling.

Why do humans feel lonely at times?
Even though they have family, they have friends and some of them have even lovers.
Yes, they have people around them, yet they still feel lonely.

Why?

What is the definition of "Loneliness"?

How is loneliness created?

Why is it called "loneliness"?

There are so many questions, yet there's no ans to them.

Who can understand one can feel until they actually are in the person's shoes?

Loneliness,
When u think of Loneliness,
You saw something dark,
Something black and white, or jus dull dark colours.
you see an image of a single person, a single item, in the sea, on the beach, standing on a grassland, all alone.

but have you ever think, whether that person or item is you?
or someone else?
someone you know or don't know.

You maybe happily enjoying yourself, not feeling lonely and so on,
but, other people may not feel the same.

Do not expect people to lead a happy, and un-lonely life forever.

Teasing at lonely people is a bitch.

one will never understand how lonely feel like.
how the heart feels, how the tears drop, how the pillow drowned.

okay.
It's nothing against anyone or anything, it's jus what i feel like saying.

Good night.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Vote for me alright??

Miss Singapore world Voting.

Jus click on the link above.

I know you guys love me, so show me your love by helping me to vote alright??
=]

btw, if u cant recognize me through the photo,
I'm contestant number 11.
Hugs.

with lotsa of love,

Jiselle.

Moving


i'm moving soon.

i mean for blog.

will tell u guys my new blog link.

good night

Thursday, June 25, 2009

guess what?

TO ERIC:

Go on and get angry and so on.
blame it on me if you think that it will make u feel much better.
because you know what?
i couldn't be bother anymore.
I gave you advise yet you dun listen is your own lost.
so i give up.

One word for you. WHATEVER

i jus wan to party tonight.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Renovation

The renovation has started like 2 days already and it's fucking dusty.

take a look.



My room's bathroom as well. but i didnt take a pic.

Result to i can't sleep in my room for this few weeks, which totally sucks.



Smoking by my kitchen window.
just being bo liao so i took some pic.

lot's of things run through my head whenever i'm smoking alone.

Love is complicated.
a good friend of mine as well as work friend, he got into some situation and he is making himself feeling like shit.
it's almost the same situation whereby i handle be4, so i i know how he is feeling.

But he is more the the venting out in a crazy way.
for me, i'll just keep crying my heart out.

oh well.

Love sucks at times.
agree?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Siantosa

Was suppose to go to "siantosa aka sentosa" for sun-tanning today, but apparently when charmaine and i reach vivo, it was cloudy.

ps: Siantosa is created by Charmaine tan, because she thinks that Sentosa is for "Kan" sian people to go one. and we are the "Kan" sian people.

so in the end we drop the idea and went to watch movie instead.



Us with our movie ticket.

Guess what we watched.

"Drag me to hell"

Like wtf right?

It's not even scary lah.

I heard review like it damn F scary and so on. but i think it's not.
i jus think it's more disgusting than scary?
gross.

a waste of time to watch that movie.

oh well.

reminder to people, 
if you wan to watch "drag me to hell", you can jus give up on that idea.
i'm serious.

Monday, June 22, 2009

A personality test which i find it quite true.

From a Personality test.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Me and my fucking life.

Somehow, I suddenly tout of stuffs, about my life, about me.

I handle tons of shit, i gotten shit from people.
Life seriously sucks big time.
when i'm so fucking down, no one will even know.
I put up a false front, so that the people around me will not see how weak i can be at times.

Yea i'm still young, no longer a girl, and not yet a woman.
i don't grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth, i don't grow up in a warm and happy family.
yea, i may not be the worst, but no one will want to lead the life like how i led mine.

Not many people know who i am, No one really understand me.

Yes i'm a girl. but I'm not the average type of girl, that you expect one to be like.
i'm not girly girly, i seldom whine, i'm so-called fierce. i'm not gentle.
I'm not the typical model that you read their blogs online, you saw them on the street, wearing dresses and high heels, carrying branded stuff and so on.
sorry, but i can't afford them, but i'll get things that i'm satisfied and happy with, whenever i can afford them, and of course they are not branded stuff.
I'm not like those girls who enjoy doing medicure and pedicure,
my nails are short and i have been keeping them short, due to work.
i do paint my toe nails sometime, but i dont like fancy nails.

I look at stuffs differently, maybe that is y i'm being a designer.
Designer always look at things in a different angle, in a different way.

Life can be simple, but humans always make them complicated.
Love can be simple, but humans always make them complicated.

I'm still re-creating a life whereby it's so simple, with things that i love, people that i love.
I want to be living in the world of art and design as well.
I can't survive without art and design.

I'm still young,
I'm still learning,
Life is all about learning

I'm a workaholic.

I don't have the intention to live till like 80 or 90 years old.
I don't need people to bless me to wat ripe old age.

I don't believe in them.

People will die, it's jus a matter of time.

mine, as long as i die in peace, which mean i fulfill every single desire of mine,
i'm contented.

good night.

Going Broke soon.

I think alot of people sian with my face in my blog already so yea.

be glad that this post don't have my face in it.
=]

nothing much to say.

went out to meet lynn today because it'sbeen quite sometime since i last saw her.

love the meet up today.

but i spend a lil over.
damn.

i can't resist the food lah. =[

and the tarts, omg, it's damn nice lah.

and yea,
I'm going to sentosa with charmaine tmr!!

it's been so long since i last went sentosa.

finally a time to get tan but not burnt.
cuz the current situation i'm in, i cant afford to get burnt.
=]

i'm a lil slpy now,but there are some work that i have to help a fren to finish up.
so last min.

ey fren,you own me a favour. i don't care.

ok.need to start liao.

bye now.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

in the end.

I didnt go for the grooming class.

I feeling a lil sick.

so i decided to rest more.

sigh.

WTF?!

I have grooming course later from 10am to 8pm. fucking 10 hours?

I didn't know a grooming course can take up to so so so damn long.

and the best thing is i have to travel all the way from EAST to WEST.

-___-lll

Anyway, my hair consultation went not too bad.

If anyone will enjoy good service and great hair advise and also hair service, you guys should totally go to Hair Secret. I'm so lazy to explain where is the location, but you guys can google about it.
the best environment will be at bugis!
=]

will love to try out their hair service in the future.

then after that, i went window shopping around bugis before heading to Cadeo's house for L word marathon.
Yes, i had already finished watching like from the season 1 to season 6 which is the ending.

but i enjoyed the steamboat there.

and there are like alcohol involved as well! but i didnt drink much, because i have to wake up early!! damn.
I totally love alcohol.

Was surfing around and i notice some stuff and tout of some stuffs.
"I will turn straight if one of the 2 guys that i kinda admire (something being a fan or sth) is going after me and ask me to be his girlfriend. AND... i'm not going to tell you who are the 2 guys that i admire." =x

jus kidding =]
(can tell that i'm kinda bored.)

i think i'm going offline sooner or later. then i shall play psp till i feel sleepy.


*ps. i have the habit to smell my hair at times, and it smells good ok! alots of ppl said that my hair smells nice. =]

Tata~

Saturday, June 20, 2009

I'm off


off to my Hair Consultation.

It's been so long since i last woke up tis early.
=]

Bye~

Insomnia


I'm just so bo liao isn't it.

Have not been sleeping well.
My body clock had gone crazy.
=[

I'm having a hair consultation in the morning in town.
And i still not sleepy yet.

damn it.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Plain Bored

Didn't you guys realize that i have been taking photo recently to post on blog?

Because recently i find that Blog with words most of the time is jus plain boring.
so yeap. Photo's taking almost every day now.

with my laptop webcam.
=]


Have been Playing psp for the day.
Downloaded new games, to play.

I have been neglecting my psp for like quite sometime already.

Friends, who seen my psp before, you guys should realise that i have already removed my psp skin.

It's been with me like for a year or 2 already.
so i decided to remove it.
I still like the clean look of my psp.

Anyway,
I realized that my monthly thingy is late.
As always.
damn.

I almost forget about it though.

no wonder i have been feeling hungry recently.
and have been a lil emotional these days.

damn.

being a female sucks sometimes, but i still love to be one. =]

tata~~

Random

Had my photoshoot.

Pretty nice and quite fun.
The photographer is a funny man.
but the make up is a lil too heavy, i can feel that my face can't really breathe properly.

the pictures turned out pretty nice.
so still not too bad.

I'm still coughing, and i have not been sleeping well. what is happening to my body?

Was hungry, so i bought mac back for supper.
yes, i haven't remove the photoshoot make up so that is y my eyes look kinda black.
I was too hungry to i start eating once i reach home.

Jus being plain bored.
I'm off to watch show.

tata~~

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Blank.

My cough is not getting any better,
my throat kinda hurts.

I having a photoshoot tomorrow.
and i'm still not aslp.
no more a "beauty" tmr.

Off today.

Busy with stuff and then jus chill.
in town.
with frens.

I feel better when i'm out, but i feel terrible when i'm alone and esp at home.

I realised that...

Ciggie, is the best company one can ever had.
It's like a partner or best friend that will be with you and stay by you.
They'll appear whether you need them.

Alcohol is like your friends that you confine in.
Only when there's problems, or there are things u need to say out or confessed, you turn to them.

Coke is like coffee,
You need your daily dose.

Money is like your oxygen.
You cannot live without it.

Correct?

True or Fake smile?
You decide.

Night.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Realise

I realise that..

I have subconsciously forgiven you for all that you have caused me.
Because i smiled.

But i'll nv forget what happened before.

And this teaches me to look at things carefully, look at a relationship carefully, know people carefully.

Being together with you i nv thought that it's a mistake, but a lesson learnt.

Oh well.
Memories, yes, there is.
bad stuffs too.

but it's over,
and both of us are leading our own life.

oh well.

back to me myself!
I have been treating my health like shit.

for the whole day till now, i only eaten waffle.
with a single scoop of vanilla ice cream.

that's it.

wonderful huh.

and have been smoking alot recently.

What is happening to me?

at work today, quarrels happened, and obviously, not my fault.
it's kinda big, but i really "ren" very long already.
one word to her- Whatever.

working is tiring today because lack of manpower.
so alone, in fountain, doing all the orders.

my back is aching like shit.
my arms are getting stronger.
my legs are tired.

boo.

Monday, June 15, 2009

hiding

I...

got so many things in my mind.

yet i chose to hide them inside my heart.

and yes,
i'm suffocating.

i..

i can't breathe.

anymore.

night.

Happy birthday!!

Happy Bday Sister jerine.

hope you enjoyed yourself.

big big hugs.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Today, Thursday.

Supposedly i was not working,

and in the end being called to work.

but i went to collect my stuffs in town.

later at about 1pm i need to go back to collect the heels.
unable to collect today.

after work.
I had my booze.
and enjoying my sea breeze.
and jus talking.

i felt relaxed.

during work was moody.
damn moody till i feel like crying.
but i hold my tears back.

okay. off to eat my chicken wing.
night.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pursue.

I have been really down these days and there's nothing to cheer me up,
or lets say, nothing CAN cheer me up.

I know friends are there and so on.
And yes, I love them all.
But there are times whereby,
once something affected me,
even though i know my friends loves me and so on,
I just can't cheer up.

I can't smile truely anymore.

My life is going to be like that.



When I pursue more time,
I never have enough of them.
When I pursue more rest,
I never have enough of them.
When I pursue happiness,
I never had them.


God doesn't give me what i want.
Because I can never give him what he wants.

I just want to cry,
in silence.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Broken down

Seriously, i break down.

i cried for the whole day

i couldnt take it.

No.
not because of love.

i because of me being emo,
and things happened.

and i had enough already.

totally.

can someone jus kill me pls?

edited.

was cutting my nails and
like one say, one cannot concentrate will tend to injure yrself.

that jus happen after i blogged.

fuck man.

but luckily it's a small cut.
but bleeds alot.

my blood going on free flow.

hey yo

Jus came back from chalet.

Yes in the middle of the night.

chalet of Jervis, Euuren, Jerine, Gap, Jayvon, Jo and me.
these few of us are the main organisors.

Main purpose: Celebrate Jervis 26th bday.

It was fun.

flour, water, water and more water.

there are videos.
and pictures are in Rae's cam.

video will be up in my FB soon.

=]

anyway,

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JERVIS.

Friday, June 5, 2009

am i emo-ing? CRAP

I'm still recovering from my sickness.
and i jus got back not long.
how exciting.

my voice changed.
i keep coughing.

and i had alcohol.
and now a Mac Fish burger in front of me.
together with a upsize fries and coke,
with mayo and chilli sauce mixed together.

yes.
Dumb. i'm still eating heaty food.

but...
I don't really give a damn about my health.
No one cares anyway.
one will have to die
it's jus a matter of time only.

Party, music, alcohol, smoking.
I'm enjoying my life before it end.

chewing on my burger,
here i am blogging away.

The funny thing is that, alot of ppl in the club think that i'm attached.
When i told them that i'm single and available,
they were like "OMG ARE U SERIOUS?"
and jus keep asking why.

then i told them.

"Maybe I'm jus picky"
"Nobody wants me. =p"

Taking the 2nd bite of my burger,
Here i am, ending the post soon.

really soon.

Okay bye.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Damn fucking sick.

am actually having fever after i came home yesterday night.

from

38 degree

to

38.1 degree

to

37.7 degree

then go work.

37.0 degree

then dinner break.

37.3 degree

then after work.

38.2 degree.

amazing isnt it.

let me take now again.

38 degree

sigh.

Monday, June 1, 2009

Once Again

I added back a tag board.

so do use it wisely.

spammer will make me remove the tagboard again.

anyway, good afternoon people.

I'm Jus..

I just hate the feeling somehow.

To Charmaine.
I guess you will only see this when you come back from your trips after like 2 weeks?
hahaha. but anyway, be safe on yr trip. BIG TIGHT HUGS.
meet up for lunch or dinner when you're back.
Clubbing as well. =]

night people.
i'm turning in.