I wan u to get the fuck out of my life.
no matter what u do,
it wont change.
i wont believe.
i wont soft hearted.
so?
yes, i'm cruel at times.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
into depression
Again is i feel.
I have not been feeling like these for years already.
Now,
I jus wan to drop and die.
Jiselle is going into depression soon.
I'm serious.
I have been crying for hours.
and i only sleep for 2 hours.
who can help me.
No one.
Totally.
I jus wan to be left alone now, yet i need hugs from all those i love.
What am i suppose to do.
Why am i like that.
I so fucking useless.
Fucking USELESS.
Damn it.
Kill me.
I have not been feeling like these for years already.
Now,
I jus wan to drop and die.
Jiselle is going into depression soon.
I'm serious.
I have been crying for hours.
and i only sleep for 2 hours.
who can help me.
No one.
Totally.
I jus wan to be left alone now, yet i need hugs from all those i love.
What am i suppose to do.
Why am i like that.
I so fucking useless.
Fucking USELESS.
Damn it.
Kill me.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
I can't believe it, that you're so...
Seriously,
I'm so sick and tired.
Let me tell you what i hate:
1. i hate answering useless question
2. i hate repeating my answer
3. i hate repeating question
4. i hate asking stupid question
5. i hate being forced to do the things i don't want to do or don't feel like doing.
6. i hate you keep finding chances to meet me when i have already told you that i do not want to meet.
7. i hate you keep asking to go eat with u and if i don't, you will make a big fuss out of it.
8. i hate you, keep bombing my phone with calls and smses, when i decided to be alone.
9. i hate you that you don't even give me a time to be fucking alone.
10. i hate you that when i say "do not disturb", i really dun wan to see you, chat with you on the phone, msn or what so ever shit, and of course, not replying you as well, and yet, you jus keep pestering me.
11. i hate your stupidness some time.
12. i hate to listen you you keep complain, an making me pissed off every single time.
13. i hate the burden that you make me carry.
14. i hate the fucking stress that you have given me.
15. i hate the not matured you.
16. i hate the "you think i type this is purposely jus to let HER see that we are quarrelling" word when i didn't even do that.
17. i hate your assumption
18. i hate you not reading deep into my words sometime.
19. i hate you trying to like ask so many question like i'm your gf.
20. i hate you keep asking so many question that it seems like i have to report to you as your "gf" or sth.
There's more.
But i'm too lazy.
I only can say, i do not belong to anyone.
50% of my time I do not wan to go out and u force me to.
(whether be it finding excuses or what so ever)
20% of the time u were adding more stress onto me. AS ALWAYS
10% of the time you created tiredness in me
15% of the time, you keep asking me those stupid question and keep repeating them, which i totally hate.
5% of the time, there are smiles.
Sigh.
PS: I typed this is not for HER to see. so jus keep your assumption to yourself. If you want to let your assumption run wild, Then i'm speechless. cause it only prove how much disappointed you gave me even though i trusted you.
I should not even did and i shall not from now on.
I dont wan to go with what people likes me to do.
i'll go with what i like myself to do.
so whatever.
I'm so sick and tired.
Let me tell you what i hate:
1. i hate answering useless question
2. i hate repeating my answer
3. i hate repeating question
4. i hate asking stupid question
5. i hate being forced to do the things i don't want to do or don't feel like doing.
6. i hate you keep finding chances to meet me when i have already told you that i do not want to meet.
7. i hate you keep asking to go eat with u and if i don't, you will make a big fuss out of it.
8. i hate you, keep bombing my phone with calls and smses, when i decided to be alone.
9. i hate you that you don't even give me a time to be fucking alone.
10. i hate you that when i say "do not disturb", i really dun wan to see you, chat with you on the phone, msn or what so ever shit, and of course, not replying you as well, and yet, you jus keep pestering me.
11. i hate your stupidness some time.
12. i hate to listen you you keep complain, an making me pissed off every single time.
13. i hate the burden that you make me carry.
14. i hate the fucking stress that you have given me.
15. i hate the not matured you.
16. i hate the "you think i type this is purposely jus to let HER see that we are quarrelling" word when i didn't even do that.
17. i hate your assumption
18. i hate you not reading deep into my words sometime.
19. i hate you trying to like ask so many question like i'm your gf.
20. i hate you keep asking so many question that it seems like i have to report to you as your "gf" or sth.
There's more.
But i'm too lazy.
I only can say, i do not belong to anyone.
50% of my time I do not wan to go out and u force me to.
(whether be it finding excuses or what so ever)
20% of the time u were adding more stress onto me. AS ALWAYS
10% of the time you created tiredness in me
15% of the time, you keep asking me those stupid question and keep repeating them, which i totally hate.
5% of the time, there are smiles.
Sigh.
PS: I typed this is not for HER to see. so jus keep your assumption to yourself. If you want to let your assumption run wild, Then i'm speechless. cause it only prove how much disappointed you gave me even though i trusted you.
I should not even did and i shall not from now on.
I dont wan to go with what people likes me to do.
i'll go with what i like myself to do.
so whatever.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Bad Bad Day
Waking up,
having headache.
see doctor.
spend money
so home,
eat maggie.
go out meet yuki they al for her birthday,
kena aeroplane-d.
go home,
get shits from my mum.
got phone call,
had to think with my brain again.
trying my best to help, yet tired.
Damn.
today is my fucking emo day ever.
having headache.
see doctor.
spend money
so home,
eat maggie.
go out meet yuki they al for her birthday,
kena aeroplane-d.
go home,
get shits from my mum.
got phone call,
had to think with my brain again.
trying my best to help, yet tired.
Damn.
today is my fucking emo day ever.
Monday, February 9, 2009
I am...
I am crying.
For both of u.
Yea.
None of my biz.
but,
it's not the first time anyway.
After what i have done,
What i wan is for u to be happy.
both of u.
to be happy together.
How stupid i can be.
For both of u.
Yea.
None of my biz.
but,
it's not the first time anyway.
After what i have done,
What i wan is for u to be happy.
both of u.
to be happy together.
How stupid i can be.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Now finally is Friday.
Now i 2am in the morning, which means, it's friday!
I cant wait to go school,
finish my classes, go home rest, and then at night go work!
Oh man.
So no life.
Where the fuck is my frens?
kidding.
I'm pushing myself to my limits,
Earning as much as i can,
doing as many jobs and works as i can.
Ya,
i'm jus trying to tired myself out.
you know why?
Cux like this, then i able to sleep.
=]
Some pictures update.
My sister's ROM.
i need my rest!
I cant wait to go school,
finish my classes, go home rest, and then at night go work!
Oh man.
So no life.
Where the fuck is my frens?
kidding.
I'm pushing myself to my limits,
Earning as much as i can,
doing as many jobs and works as i can.
Ya,
i'm jus trying to tired myself out.
you know why?
Cux like this, then i able to sleep.
=]
Some pictures update.
My sister's ROM.i need my rest!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
ARGH
School work is killing me.
and this particular teacher is killing me more.
i regret going back to school.
I rather work my ass off.
Sigh.
What should i do now!
I miss secondary school, i miss primary school.
what should i do.
the life there was so simple, yet easy as well.
Thinking about my young school life now.
All the "stead" thingy is so funny
i wonder y is it call "stead" during that age of time.
Weird.
all the friends,
conflicts,
is like so long ago.
wearing school uniform is boring.
who even call teacher by names in secondary or primary school, like in polytechnic or let's say tertiary schools!
I jus hope, i will have a better life now.
with school, stress and so on,
I'm not happy.
not the real happiness that i want.
sigh.
I miss alot of stuff.
I miss people.
All the thinking back,
remind me of my past relationships.
and yeap, getting emo now.
from straight, to les.
I wonder.
will i remind as a les forever?
or will i still wan to get married and have kids?
I'm like 22 this year,
and my sister jus gotten married. okay may call engaged.
(she is still sharing a fucking room with me)
She is only 24 this year.
Young age to get married huh.
hmm.
how's the feeling of jgetting married, and don't worry about anything as long as have a nice and good family.
your own family.
(may not inculdes your own children)
Hmm.
Well.
Emo emo emo.
My bed is in a mess now.
with bags, and notes and drawings and so on.
sigh.
Help.
I need a stable support now.
But yet,
I don't even have one,
not one that is stable enough for me.
Maybe my standard is jus too high.
and for people like me,
god wont give support to me.
I guess.
Why?
I don't know.
Jus natural instinct.
My instinct jus tells me that,
If i really have a support,
That is the time whereby i'm like very old already.
Haha.
oh well.
It's 5 am in the morning and i still havent sleep.
I guess i need to get some sleep soon, and wakes up in the morning or afternoon to complete my work.
I miss....
whatever i used to have.
sigh.
and this particular teacher is killing me more.
i regret going back to school.
I rather work my ass off.
Sigh.
What should i do now!
I miss secondary school, i miss primary school.
what should i do.
the life there was so simple, yet easy as well.
Thinking about my young school life now.
All the "stead" thingy is so funny
i wonder y is it call "stead" during that age of time.
Weird.
all the friends,
conflicts,
is like so long ago.
wearing school uniform is boring.
who even call teacher by names in secondary or primary school, like in polytechnic or let's say tertiary schools!
I jus hope, i will have a better life now.
with school, stress and so on,
I'm not happy.
not the real happiness that i want.
sigh.
I miss alot of stuff.
I miss people.
All the thinking back,
remind me of my past relationships.
and yeap, getting emo now.
from straight, to les.
I wonder.
will i remind as a les forever?
or will i still wan to get married and have kids?
I'm like 22 this year,
and my sister jus gotten married. okay may call engaged.
(she is still sharing a fucking room with me)
She is only 24 this year.
Young age to get married huh.
hmm.
how's the feeling of jgetting married, and don't worry about anything as long as have a nice and good family.
your own family.
(may not inculdes your own children)
Hmm.
Well.
Emo emo emo.
My bed is in a mess now.
with bags, and notes and drawings and so on.
sigh.
Help.
I need a stable support now.
But yet,
I don't even have one,
not one that is stable enough for me.
Maybe my standard is jus too high.
and for people like me,
god wont give support to me.
I guess.
Why?
I don't know.
Jus natural instinct.
My instinct jus tells me that,
If i really have a support,
That is the time whereby i'm like very old already.
Haha.
oh well.
It's 5 am in the morning and i still havent sleep.
I guess i need to get some sleep soon, and wakes up in the morning or afternoon to complete my work.
I miss....
whatever i used to have.
sigh.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Days
Friday 30 jan 2009
Skip school today, and not feeling well as well so yup.
Went to work at night.
modelling.
Joanne, sharon and me girls for this batch of the night
sharon and me
Our 1st stop at shin bar.
those in red are the martel girls. i know all of them! hahaha.
Esp gix! and Vanessa!!!
Saturday 31 Jan 2009
Working in the morning.
was tired.
meet mike for a lil while and went home to change.
i gotten my phone already!
Muahaha.
White LG viewty!! =]
I'm so in love with my new phone!! =]
Ok it's late le.
TODAY is my sister's ROM.
Go there and become her photographer!
hahaha.
Skip school today, and not feeling well as well so yup.
Went to work at night.
modelling.
Joanne, sharon and me girls for this batch of the night
sharon and me
Our 1st stop at shin bar.
those in red are the martel girls. i know all of them! hahaha.
Esp gix! and Vanessa!!!
Saturday 31 Jan 2009
Working in the morning.
was tired.
meet mike for a lil while and went home to change.
i gotten my phone already!
Muahaha.
White LG viewty!! =]
I'm so in love with my new phone!! =]
Ok it's late le.
TODAY is my sister's ROM.
Go there and become her photographer!
hahaha.
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